On Struggles During CSE Meetings: For School Administrators and Parents
Attending a Committee on Special Education (CSE) meeting can be extraordinarily intense, especially in the beginning of a family’s journey, throughout their first attempts to navigate the world of special education. During my years as an educator, advocate, behavior analyst, and family member to children with special education needs, I have had the unique privilege of sitting on many sides of the CSE table and have gained many perspectives and experiences along the way. I have sat with my family and asked for services or supports that the school district has either fully agreed to, or deemed unnecessary or not applicable; I have sat with parents as their child’s advocate or specialist, supporting and validating their perspectives; and I have sat with the school staff, explaining to parents what services will be offered to their child, what supports we feel should be in place, and listened to their feelings about their special education experiences.
When a CSE meeting is convened, there are several people of influence present who play different roles in supporting each individual child’s needs. Because this Committee is the formal group of individuals who decide what educational supports will be provided for the child for that school year, creating their Individualized Education Plan (IEP), another name for the CSE meeting is an “IEP team meeting.”
Parents are often told that they’re the most important people at the table (besides the child), that they are the leaders of the team, and their child’s best advocates- yet they often report feeling overwhelmingly stressed and emotional, or even confused and disillusioned. When a parent feels disappointed or frustrated by their IEP team, they often feel that way because of one of the following reasons. Consider these reasons, and the takeaway messages for the parents and staff that may promote better meetings with greater outcomes:
The parent does not feel heard: During the meeting, a parent may begin to express their emotions regarding their child’s diagnosis, their needs, or their struggles. Rather than feeling validated and understood, parents report feeling as though their expressions of grief, struggle, or confusion were “brushed off” or “hurried along” for the sake of time. While they understand that there are many families to serve, they feel as though not enough time and attention was given to their unique perspectives.
Takeaway for Staff: While the IEP meeting is formal and must be run as efficiently as possible, be mindful about making validating statements to share your concern as to what the parent is going through prior to moving on. Make sure that the solutions your team creates adequately support the skills the parent is concerned about, or that they serve to promote prerequisite skills that are foundational to those in the future. While there are many scheduling considerations for all members of the team, and delay leads to greater scheduling conflicts, staff can work to prevent this by building time into the planning of the meeting for parents to discuss their greatest concerns.
Takeaway for Parents: While your perspectives and feelings should, and must, be heard, do your best to move the conversation points into a direction of solutions. Rather than simply venting things like “I feel like my son is constantly left out and he never gets his social needs met,” try to phrase your concern by saying something like, “I feel like my child is falling behind socially and may never catch up. What can we do to make sure he is making progress during social times like gym, lunch, and recess?” Be sure to ask specific questions such as, “How can we measure those goals in order to keep track of them?” and “What will we do next if he masters that skill?” In this way, you’re raising your greatest concerns, and even venting how upsetting they are, but you’re pointing the conversation in the direction of solutions and working with your team to create goals that will address these concerns. This will allow the team to understand your child’s unique situation and take the next step of creating practical goals that meet those needs.
The parent feels as though the child is not having their needs met: A parent may feel as though the IEP team is not serving the child’s needs individually, but rather that they are providing cost-effective supports that fit into the school district’s budget. They may feel that there is some type of stigma or targeting occurring with the child, such that they are purposefully not being offered supports that the parent feels would be appropriate for them. This is a very stressful and combative situation that requires immediate and delicate management in order to prevent further escalation of tensions.
Takeaway for Staff: Avoid mentioning budgeting or logistical concerns during IEP meetings. First, the law states that the child’s education be individualized, so the struggles of the administration to meet the needs of every other individual have no place in this meeting (regardless of their reality). Second, doing so may cause the parent to feel as though their child is being left out of the services because of “costs” or “logistics,” rather than the fact that the services are not truly appropriate for their child at the current time. If the staff are in agreement that the services are simply not applicable to the child’s needs or otherwise do not align with the child’s current goals, that is where the focus should be. Do your best to explain that the aforementioned supports simply do not apply to their child yet but that it will be noted and addressed at a later time. Further, you may consider adding IEP goals that are supportive of the needs of the child in a similar fashion to the sought after supports, and perhaps provide clear scaffolding to more prerequisite skills that graduate to the service that the parent is asking for. Inform them that the child’s current needs require other specific skill building and offer solutions that lead to that service being possible in the future. If the service appears entirely out of the line with the child’s skills and deficits, consider setting up a separate meeting with the parent privately, so that the stress of the CSE meeting doesn’t add compounded emotional strain. Remind them that the IEP will continue to be drafted during this meeting but will not be complete until that future meeting occurs. Then, both parties will have the time and preparation to discuss the parent’s request, the reality of the child’s situation, and how best to meet their current needs. The parent will be provided with ample time to discuss their perspective and feel understood- and will be assured that the decision to deny that service is not being made hastily or for any other reason.
Takeaway for Parents: While you may be mindful of the logistical and budgeting hurdles that school district staff must manage for the entire population of students within the district, avoid bringing this up during the meeting. If you are truly aware that a service is not being provided that is entirely appropriate for your child, that you have asked for and has been rejected, it may be more productive to simply ask “Why?” or “What supports or goals should be added to the IEP that will allow my child to access that service/support later?” More so, you may ask “What data/assessments will be used to measure my child’s progress towards receiving that service?” and “What will be done to scaffold their progress in the meantime?” It is important not to engage in accusatory statements. These simply express anger and do not adequately express your real concerns. It may also put the staff in a position of defense when they may have otherwise felt that they were on the same team as you. If you have expressed your concerns as politely as possible, understand the reasons behind the district’s decision, and still feel that a service is being withheld, it may be time to speak with an advocate regarding your situation. They will help you decide the next steps you must take to prove that an appropriate service is being withheld.
The parent feels talked over and can not understand the information that is being shared so quickly: Many times parents are just learning to navigate the special education world, and what services and supports are available, while they are also reviewing lengthy evaluations and learning entirely new sets of vocabulary. They may not understand all of the terminology being used during the meeting, may be distracted by their racing thoughts and emotions, and may become frustrated. They may feel as though the team is talking “over their heads” and are simply going to create the IEP without the parents full understanding.
Takeaway for Staff: Ensuring that all acronyms and vocabulary are explained to the parents is a vital component to the CSE process, as well as to the inclusion of the parents’ full support and acceptance of the services being provided for their child. Be proactive in explaining what the assessments truly measured, in ways that can be understood more easily, such as explaining “This is a test of executive functioning, which means it examines skills like organization, planning, inhibition or impulse control, and working memory- the ability to hold onto one thought while also thinking about or doing other things.” Consider creating and sending packets of definitions and explanations that guide parents through reading an IEP draft prior to the meeting. Doing so will help the parents feel more supported and guided, rather than challenged or bombarded with information. Be patient when answering questions, and make sure that the parent has been given enough time to fully understand the answers to their questions, by following up to make sure that there is nothing left to be said or that remains unclear.
Takeaway for Parents: Be sure to review your evaluations, the definitions of your child’s diagnosis/diagnoses, the types of services and supports available within your district, etc. as much as you can before the meeting. Write down notes, definitions, or things that interest you and that you believe apply to your child prior to the meeting. If you can, make an appointment with an advocate, your doctor, the school psychologist, or those who performed evaluations with your child- and inform them that you have questions about what these phrases or suggestions really mean for your child in short and long term applications. This will help by preventing you from feeling overwhelmed with new terms during the heightened stress of the actual meeting. Do your best to feel prepared by bringing whatever notes you can, a notepad and pen, tissues, water, and a small snack like a granola or protein bar in case you end up waiting while another team is finishing. Do not schedule any other appointments before or after your CSE meeting if possible and do your best to sleep well the night before. This will help you to navigate and regulate your emotions as well as all of the information about assessments, your child’s strengths and weaknesses, and what services the school district has prepared for you. You should try your best to write down your questions on your notepad the day before, so that you are not rushing that morning or struggling to remember what you wanted to ask during the meeting. Feeling well prepared will help you to understand the process and make decisions about what you agree and disagree with prior to signing the IEP. Remember, you can always take a moment in the hall to speak with your spouse or advocate at any time. If need be, you can “table” the meeting, meaning you simply need time to think about what is being discussed and will need to reconvene at a later date. Just know that gathering all of the staff a second time can be an inconvenience for them or may delay the process of your IEP, so only do this if you truly must. Then, if you must, know that you absolutely have that right. You truly are the most important member of your child’s team and you must fully understand and accept the recommendations within the IEP. The district will be required to simply meet again.
The most important thing to remember is that the school district staff and the parents are all on the same team. Everyone at the CSE table wants what is best for the child. If that is questioned by the parents (thinking that the district isn’t doing enough) or the staff (thinking that the parent is asking for too much), then more work must be done to bridge the gap to bring everyone together. Fostering harmony among all members of the team is vital work for administrators, leading to greater consistency and positive outcomes for the children under their supervision, as well as satisfaction among parents in their communities. Logistically, putting in the work to build trust and understanding with families also leads to running more efficient meetings and better use of everyone’s time. Parents must feel understood, validated, and empowered in advocating for the needs of their child; but also given patience and understanding if they become upset or frustrated. After all, the parents are the ones coping with many new challenges while most professionals at the CSE meeting have encountered these experiences before. Let’s be proactive and forward-thinking in our approach to the creation of IEPs and our preparation for CSE meetings, for the benefit each individual child, parent, and education professional.